my purpose (for now)

Last week I dropped the news that Jennifer Bianca is about to go through a “re-orientation”. (I mean, I’m already in the trenches working on it but you won’t see the fruit until I’m done on December 6th!)

I also told you what led me to this decision, this need, to change things up.

In short: I acknowledge that calligraphy is not my purpose. And in discovering my purpose, I need to realign my business to reflect that.

And so, I want to tell you a little bit about me today and what I believe my real purpose is. (At least, what my purpose is for now!)

I’ve always been into self-development.

No, not in the cheesy way, but in the “get down to the nitty gritty and figure out your shit” way. I’m not one for stagnancy. For settling. For lack of progression.

But how I approach self-development has changed in the last year. It’s shifted from “I need to be better” to “I need to be my true self.” It’s shifted from “I need to improve my character” to “I need to confront my fears and move towards health.” It’s shifted from “I need to be perfect to makes sure I’m following God” to “I just need to be me. Period.”

I’ve also always been down with “being real”.

I’m not scared of being honest and pouring out my heart on IG or a blog post. I’m not scared of telling people what’s going on in my life (as long as they ask the right questions and sound like they care). In fact, I’ve learned that I want so badly to be loved as my authentic self that I’ll project that out as much as I can and hope people love me anyways.

The problem is, I haven’t always known myself well enough to actually know what my truth is.

So, even in the intention of “honesty” I’ve absolutely spent a lot of my life not being honest. Because I wasn’t being honest with myself about my own pain, fears, and feelings. Weird, hey?

So, what changed it all for me?

Some of you may roll your eyes because you’ve heard about it so much, and some of you may have huge questions marks because you’ve never heard of it.

But here’s the answer: The Enneagram.

I won’t go into the details about this “personality” typing system here, but you can read more about my experience with it here.

It is what has helped me make that switch from “I need to be better” to “I need to be myself.” From “I love radical honesty” while not knowing myself, to “I know myself and love myself and I will share that outwardly.”

Since digging into my Type on the Enneagram, I’ve been able to shed masks I didn’t now I had on to hide myself (from myself). I’ve been able to tear down walls around my heart and have real feeling that I didn’t know I had. It’s been huge.

But this process is not free of pain. Or easy. Not at all. A constant phrase I’ve said to myself and friends this year is “Integration is some bullshit.” Because it’s true. It feels worse before it feels better. Being honest with yourself uncovers pain and fears you didn’t know where there when you were repressing them - and we can do that without our knowledge.

But it’s a process that’s so worth it. Uncovering our Essence is beautiful, the path to peace and freedom.

I have become passionate about discovering my True Self and expressing that genuinely in the world.

And that brings me to my purpose.

I want to help you express your genuine self in the world.

No, I won’t be a therapist or enneagram coach or life coach or any kind of coach for that matter.

But I do want to use my talents to help you show up as YOU.

I want to help you say “to hell with expectations” and to stop doing thing and making things that you feel obligated to do because of tradition. I want to help you make and do thing that you want to do because they express your values and passions authentically.

I can’t wait to share more with you how I plan to do that. Next week. ;)